"Have WE Loved OURselves First"

I am currently reading a book titled: The Lady, Her Lover, and Her Lord by T.D. Jakes and for it to be such a short book it seems to be the most reality filled book with very short chapters. It is almost a reality check of how much we women look over ourselves to satisfy other people. I once told my mother I cannot date or marry a man who doesn’t have a good relationship with their mother because if he doesn’t have a good relationship with his mother how could he have one with me. But one thing I forgot to add is if he doesn’t have a relationship with God how could have respect for his mother and have faith him the Lord and himself to be able to want to protect and be with me. It is amazing the things we choose to look over day to day that pertain to self.

As established women and as gradually growing women we need to really evaluate our relationships with ourselves. We need to consider that pleasing others is useless we please ourselves whole heartedly and I am not talking about sexually but mentally and emotionally. We choose to please the people around us to make sure that everyone is happy so that our lives could go a little bit easier than with chaos. We pat the heads of those around us to make them feel more comfortable in the environment that we don’t even feel comfortable in. And why do we choose to do that? WE want to make things alright. We are women who want things to happy and clean and clear. But life does not work that way. We have to be workers for Christ and being a worker for Christ involves the whole heart not being able to cover up things and make them alright but to be real. Being real about your own issues and admitting to self what your own faults are. It doesn’t matter to anyone else what they are but God knows and WE should know too. WE need to stop ignoring them and be that REAL female that everyone CLAIMS to be.

We should also think about how much we do for others. Now I am not saying stop being generous or stop doing for others. I am saying think of you. How many times have you actually set in your bedroom by yourself and thought of everything that happened that very day with complete silence? Just meditation. How many times have you actually look a shower before bed and rubbed yourself down in oils/lotion and sprayed yourself knowing that no one is going to be next to you, just you and your pillow? How many times have you actually thought of going to the store just the way you are because you feel like it? Many times when WE dress up, We dress up or put on makeup because WE know that someone is going to see US or WE want someone to see US. That is exactly what I am trying to get us women to think about. How many times do we do things for ourselves? Doing our hair and nails because someone is going to see us is one thing but doing it because you feel like it needs it and you are not going anywhere is another. WE also need to learn how to respect ourselves. One thing my mom always told me is that I am too blunt and too opinionated. The way I represent myself and respect myself is being the person I am. The kettle in this situation is very black because she is the same way but the point is being who you are is showing yourself some respect. Do NOT reach out be someone you’re not because it’s pointless. In the end it will backfire and the personality will bleed when you won’t even understand or know why it’s leaking.

WOMEN ASK YOURSELEVES HAVE WE LOVED OURSELVES FIRST.